Personality

Building on our exploration of intentionality from last week, where we focused on maintaining purposeful attention amidst distractions, today's discussion takes a more practical turn as we investigate the intricacies of personality.

Personality, a subject that has captivated psychologists and scientists alike, examines the enduring patterns of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that make each of us incredibly unique. Through the complex interplay of genetics, environment, and lived experiences, personality psychology offers profound insights into how we navigate the world around us.

Today’s post will examine how the intricacies of our and others’ personalities can deepen our grasp of God’s characters, fostering self-awareness and encouraging readers to intentionally seek understanding of human behavior and relationships, whether with significant others, children, parents, colleagues, or friends. As we explore these dynamics, we will uncover how our innate tendencies shape our responses to life's challenges and opportunities, sometimes propelling us toward growth and other times posing obstacles.

So, let’s begin.

We notice varying degrees of personalities and uniqueness, even among siblings who share the same exact parents. As previously discussed, each of us is created exceptionally and wonderfully, reflecting divine craftsmanship, as highlighted in Psalm 139:14. However, this rarity and individuality is also grounded in our shared image of God, as noted in Genesis 1:27. Thus, we are gifted with His personality, His character evident in each of us. This inherent goodness permeates every individual, adding to the richness of His boundless creation.

Sadly, the entry of sin into the world, fueled by temptations from the Enemy and humans being deceived by them, has distorted the good and perfect gifts given by God (Genesis 2-3; James 1:16-17). We previously examined this topic in the context of the opposing forces within us—the struggle between our broken, selfish nature and the prompting of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:16-26). This dichotomy is often glaringly apparent when we examine personalities.

Consider, for instance, the paradox of a natural leader who, while possessing the potential for great leadership qualities, lacks empathy and flexibility. Similarly, those inclined towards grace and peace may also tend to avoid conflict excessively. An individual deeply rooted in creativity and enjoyment of the present might struggle with order and sensible prioritization, while a go-getter might find their self-worth entangled with their successes. Furthermore, an inquisitive person may sometimes become reclusive, withdrawing into their thoughts and ideas rather than engaging with the world around them.

To make things even harder, we also contend with the complexity of hastily being judged by our differences, adding to the already challenging task of navigating our own internal issues. When individuals possess unique qualities and deviate from our expectations or act in ways unfamiliar to us, it's easy to succumb to judgment without fully understanding their motivations or circumstances.

So what if we intentionally approached both ourselves and others with awe and wonder? What if we acknowledged that each personality trait, inherently good and made in the image of God, is often accompanied by its shadow side—the influence of our sinful nature? Despite these flaws, each trait harbors immense potential for growth and contribution.

Self-awareness plays a crucial role in this journey of growth and sanctification. By becoming aware of our own personality traits, tendencies, and areas for improvement, we can actively participate in the process of personal and spiritual growth. Through self-reflection and introspection, we can identify patterns of behavior that align with the guidance of the Holy Spirit and those that stem from our sinful nature. This awareness empowers us to make intentional choices that lead to positive growth and transformation.

As we deepen our understanding of ourselves and others, God’s character in us and our sinful nature, we confront the paradoxical aspects of our personalities intentionally and purposefully. Leaders, for example, can learn to balance their strengths by nurturing empathy and teamwork. Similarly, those inclined towards grace and forgiveness can complement these qualities with truth and accountability, fostering deeper connections. Likewise, creative individuals prone to procrastination can approach prioritization with a joyful heart, while go-getters balance their pursuit of success with a focus on their identity in Christ rather than worldly accomplishments. Finally, the inquisitive can recognize the value of collaboration and the richness that comes from engaging others in their curiosity.

Furthermore, we are called to actively participate in the sanctification process of becoming more like Christ. This intentional practice of personal growth not only strengthens our relationship with God but also deepens our empathy and compassion for others. As we experience God's grace and forgiveness in our own lives, we are compelled to extend that same grace and compassion to those around us.

Now, turning inward, let's contemplate our own personality traits and those we love: What inherent goodness does each possess, and what shadows does it cast? How can we be more intentional about nurturing their potential for growth this week? This introspective journey is not merely about self-discovery but about aligning ourselves with the greatest commandment to love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength, and to love others as ourselves. By recognizing both the light and the shadows within us, we can take intentional steps towards becoming better stewards of our gifts and fostering deeper connections with our Creator and His creations.

Licensed Christian counselors, such as myself at Sandra Lee Christian Counseling, can offer valuable assistance in navigating the complexities of self-awareness, personal growth, and spiritual development. May you progress on a transformative path towards becoming the person God created you to be—a vessel of His love, grace, truth, and light to the world.

www.sandraleecounseling.com

Intentionality

Last week, we explored the significance of intentional responses within our relationships, emphasizing the creation of a safe space for genuine connection and effective conflict resolution. Today, let's dive deeper into the broader concept of intentionality, a practice deeply rooted in both biblical teachings and evidence-based principles.

In today's culture, where the prevailing message urges us to prioritize individual desires and emotions, the idea of intentionality stands as counter-cultural. Society tells us to "find your truth," “do what makes you happy,” and indulge in instant gratification, often through the constant accessibility of resources like our phones. From emails and texts to social media, shopping, and streaming services, our devices offer a plethora of distractions, tempting us to seek immediate satisfaction rather than engage in intentional, meaningful activities aligned with our long-term goals and values.

However, this combination of prioritizing desires and seeking instant gratification can prove detrimental to our well-being. Society's relentless emphasis on the immediate fulfillment of desires often causes us to overlook the broader effects or consequences of our actions. This perpetuates unrealistic expectations, fostering the belief that everything should be immediate, perfect, and effortless. Consequently, when reality fails to meet these inflated hopes, it often leads to disappointment, frustration, anger, and a diminished sense of well-being and resilience. Notably, this trend aligns with a concerning decline in mental health observed in recent years, as studies consistently show an increase in anxiety, depression, violence, and other mental health issues.

It's essential to acknowledge that emotions themselves are not inherently negative; rather, they reflect the image of God Himself. Just as God experiences a range of emotions, so do we, as we are made in His likeness. Even Jesus, in His humanity, experienced emotions such as sadness, anger, and fear. These emotions serve a purpose in our lives: Sadness can point us to the devastating effects of evil and the broken world, anger can give us the courage to stand up against injustice and the Enemy, and fear can remind us of our need to rely on God's strength rather than our own.

While emotions themselves are inherently good, they require intentional management to align with God's principles. Emotions have the power to overwhelm us, hindering rational thinking—a phenomenon evident even in brain imaging studies during the fight-flight response. In this state, the prefrontal cortex, responsible for rational decision-making, becomes less active, while the amygdala, which governs emotions, becomes highly activated.

During the fight-flight response, our brain prioritizes immediate survival over rational decision-making. This means that when we're in a heightened emotional state, such as fear or anger, our ability to think critically and make reasoned choices is compromised. As a result, we may find ourselves reacting impulsively or irrationally, rather than making decisions based on careful consideration and reflection. Understanding this neurological process highlights the importance of managing our emotions intentionally to ensure that our decision-making skills remain clear and aligned with God's principles.

This includes guarding our hearts and minds against negativity, keeping our thoughts captive, and standing firm in faith amidst life's challenges. Contrary to the cultural norm of indulging in every emotion without restraint, biblical wisdom reminds us to test everything that seems good and to be transformed rather than conforming to worldly patterns (1 Thessalonians 5:21; Romans 12:2). Proverbs 4:23 advises us to guard our hearts above all else, for everything we do flows from it. Likewise, 1 Peter 5:8 warns us to be vigilant and sober-minded, for the Enemy seeks to devour us. And 1 Corinthians 16:13 encourages us to stand firm in our faith, to be courageous, and to be strong. In essence, managing our emotions intentionally and aligning them with God's will is essential for navigating life's challenges and living a life that honors Him.

To achieve this alignment, we must first take the time to identify and acknowledge 1) the events that trigger stress, 2) our interpretation of these stressors, and 3) our emotional and behavioral responses. We then evaluate whether our interpretation and reactions align with the Truth and God’s greater purpose. Notably, various therapeutic modalities emphasize the significance of intentional thought management in this process. Whether through Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) Therapy, Mindfulness, Narrative Therapy, Solution-Focused Therapy, or Trauma-Informed Therapy, the overarching principle remains consistent: Cultivating intentional thoughts and responses to promote emotional and behavioral health. It's important to recognize that our feelings and thoughts are not necessarily facts. By engaging in these therapeutic modalities, individuals can learn to challenge and reframe unhelpful thoughts, gaining greater control over their emotions and behaviors. This aligns closely with biblical teachings, which emphasize the caution against the fallibility of the heart if we are not intentional (Jeremiah 17:9).

In summary, intentionality, firmly rooted in scripture and evidence-based practices, offers a transformative path toward nurturing healthy relationships and enhancing mental well-being. By intentionally aligning our thoughts and actions with God's principles and the insights of evidence-based therapy, which go hand in hand, we empower ourselves to navigate life's complexities with grace, resilience, and purpose.

If you're seeking support on this journey of intentional living, Sandra Lee Christian Counseling is here to provide guidance and walk alongside you. Together, we can cultivate a life filled with meaningful connections, emotional health, and spiritual growth.

www.sandraleecounseling.com